Vertical Reality

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Vertical reality vs. horizontal reality:  Vertical reality is looking up, aligning oneself with the things of Spirit as opposed to looking straight ahead or looking down and aligning oneself with the ways of the world.

The body, the heart and the mind are our capacities from which Life, Love and Truth are expressed.  So many in the world today are fooled into thinking the capacities ARE the expression.  Don’t be fooled.

Know the difference.  Live it.  Express it.  You can’t be a beacon if your light don’t shine.  Be the light from which others can find their way.

 

Rising Up

If Not Now, When

My husband and I have been having conversations about change, about rising up to the challenge of letting go of some pretty ingrained behaviors.  One thing that we’ve come to learn in this process is that letting go of subtle attachments is not easy.  It’s not easy because it’s not easy to identify subtle attachments until they’ve raised their ugly heads.

Testy responses, emotionally-charged reactions, tones of voice, eye-rolling,  listening but not hearing…

Those behaviors have to go.  My purpose on earth is to become fully and wholly ME — not the human form that is known as Jill; not the mind that thinks it knows a lot; not the emotional center that wants to always have its way — but ME (the I Am), fully present, in touch with my divine nature.  The body, mind and heart will always be incomplete and “in progress”. The I Am is perfect NOW, and to discover the I Am doesn’t involve going to the mountain top and focusing on my belly button, or sitting in Lotus position Om-ing til the cows come home.

I Am — a Human BEING.  No, I am not just human — that is merely my form.  What animates that form is BEING charged by spirit.

I love living life in the moment, with clarity and purpose, with conviction and compassion, expressing truth through an incomplete mind, love through an incomplete emotional realm and life through an incomplete body, offering forgiveness to myself and others and always, always, always knowing that gratitude needs to be for ALL things.  There is no picking and choosing.  Am I always 100% in this precious space?

Lots of laughs and eye rolling for sure.  It sure is rewarding being aware of subtle shifts creating HUGE changes.  High five to the husband and me for making it a dance.

 

Will You Still Need Me?

I’m giving thanks for another year almost coming to a close.  In 52 days (but who’s counting?) I’ll turn 64 years of age on this earth.  I’ve looking forward to singing “When I’m 64” by the Beatles at my birthday celebration!  One of the lines in the song for anyone who isn’t familiar with it is “Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I’m 64?”

To whom would I be asking this question?  Friends?  Relatives?  Spirit?

Perhaps I would ask my Self.  Hey Self..will you still need me?  Will you still feed me?  I can answer unequivocally “YES” to that question.  My Self (the truth of who I am, not the “self” which I would call the ego) needs me…needs my body, my mind and my heart in order to express the truth of who I am.  And I’m very much loving the sustenance with which I’m being fed.

Those who hunger and thirst for the truth find it.  It’s my mission, my purpose in life to continue to express the truth of who I am in every moment of every day.  Do I always find that I’m living my purpose?  Mostly, but I do have epic fails from time to time — keeps me on my toes and ever vigilant.

And so it goes.

Clarity

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As mentioned in my blog from New Year’s Day, Crow Woman is the Guardian of Sacred Law.  I did some reading this morning (after getting 8 hours of sleep — FINALLY!) regarding the significance of Crow Woman from a Native American standpoint.  I have Native American heritage (Ottawa/Ojibwe).  The Ottawa considered the Crow to be messengers.  In Cree lore, Crow Woman lived between two worlds, bringing messages through dreams to her tribe.  

“Her messages are not always welcome or immediately understood but their impact is clear.”

The relationship between Crow Woman, my Sun Sign Capricorn and my 13 Moon Signature White Planetary Mirror holds significance for me.  Crow Woman and the goat of Capricorn both draw forth images of living between two worlds while White Planetary Mirror’s responsibility is to be a reflection of death.  Death, in my humble opinion, is not to be feared.  It is ultimately a letting go of what no longer serves our purpose.  When the physical body can no longer contain our immense spirit, it passes away.

Death is not something I find talked about regularly in a conversation with friends, yet every moment of every day we find ourselves in the process of letting go or needing to let go of something that is detrimental to our overall survival.  It always comes down to choices.  We choose to eat what we want to, whether it’s deemed “good” or “bad” for us.  We choose to get involved emotionally and mentally with the ways of the world which then affect us physically.  Becoming consciously aware of what we think, say and do — every moment of every day — is not just important, but paramount to our personal health and healing.

When I talk to friends about their choices — what they put in their bodies:  food, smoking, pharmaceuticals, alcohol; and what thoughts, words and actions come forth from them) the message is not often not welcomed or understood. Yet one of my purposes on earth is to create opportunities for people to look more deeply inward, to let go of those things that keep them from their true identity — and it is also to allow them to be who they are without judgement.   So, Crow Woman I am — walking between two worlds.

Clarity — mental, emotional and physical — is my focus for 2013.  Clarity around boundaries.  Clarity with absolute awareness (realization) — there’s no sense in focusing on clarity if I’m unwilling to act with integrity on the visions that appear, holding sacred my responsibility of bringing balance to my world while being unattached to the things of the world.  Indeed the world’s way are not my ways, but I do live IN the world — I have a body, a mind, a heart and an immense spirit which contribute to how the quality of my life unfolds.  I am Crow Woman, Guardian of Sacred Law.  Sacred Law:  What one expresses into the world creates the world.  

I hold the power to transform.  I am not afraid to use it.

The dance of life.  Come…come and dance with me.  Create, let love radiate, be the truth of who you are.

Being Fascinated!

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The colors of this autumn season are spectacular…more than I’ve ever witnessed in the 12 years that I’ve lived here.  The colors are fascinating, mesmerizing, inspiring — so much so that I used “being fascinated” as the focus for my Nia class last night.  The playlist included songs about taking a ride, being on the road and traveling by car, by plane or even a motorcycle.  It was a great class, we had a ton of fun and at the end we rolled on the floor like happy dogs in a pile of autumn leaves.  Lots of fun!

The colors — these fascinating, inspiring and mesmerizing colors — seem to be nature’s calling to the human race to WAKE UP.  As I was driving to work the other day, I was so immersed in the grandeur of the ripples and hues undulating within the leaves of the trees, the wheat fields, the coppery colors of the soy bean fields, that I suddenly became aware that I wasn’t paying attention to driving down the road.  I actually had to pull over and let the rapture of the moment totally enfold me.  Along with that rapturous feeling was a little niggling aspect of needing to really wake up — not just to be aware, but to really WAKE UP.

I’ve experienced in the relatively recent past a couple of fairly impressive taps on the shoulders (or perhaps they were kicks in the butt) from Life.  I’ve begun the process of letting go of the ways I’m used to dealing with things, letting go of the ways within which I’m most comfortable moving, letting go of the rigid dialog of judgments and opinions that just serve to keep me from experiencing the rich textures of life and love.  I say I’ve begun the process…because it is simply that…a process.  One does not decide to let go of something and POOF it’s gone.  Most of the things that we become aware of that need to be let go of are deeply ingrained in us.  It takes a bit of doing to unwind them from our muscles, fascia, bones, spine and nervous system.  Without constant conscious awareness, the process of letting go gets washed over; the complacency sets in.  The things we wish to rid ourselves of sink their teeth and claws in just a titch deeper and we we’re right back where we started.  Not a bad place to be, just not the best place to be.  

Constant conscious awareness involves the body, the mind and the emotions.  For the most part, the mind and the emotions work against one another, battling for first place; but when the mind and the emotions are in sync, in agreement, THAT is truly where the rubber meets the road.  Lots can be accomplished when the mind and emotions are in agreement.  The only way that can happen is to let go of what we think is the right thing, what we feel is the right thing — and move with what IS. 

I’m tellin’ ya, it’s quite an eye opener when the fascination for living fully in each moment becomes more important than making sure that what I think, say or do is right — or that what you think, say or do is wrong.  The colors become more vibrant.  The trees and the forrests and the fields of gold begin to speak in a language that is only available for interpretation by a pure heart and a clear mind.  Sometimes we get little glimpses of that vibrancy, and we want more.  

We can have more, however, we need to let go of some “stuff” in order to create the space for receiving more.  One has to be hungry for it.  My body craves the different colors and hues of life moving and dancing and the  tints and textures of the clothing and accessories that adorn it;  my mind craves the dancing light of awareness and clarity; and my heart craves the stellar radiance of the truth of love.  

It’s a whole new way of considering “you are what you eat.”  Are you hungry?

Any Moment of Loving

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Any moment of hating, any moment of lying, any moment of resentment
Is a moment of dying.

Any moment of loving, any moment of giving, any moment of thankfulness
Is a moment of living.

All our moment add together like the digits of a sum
And the answer tells us plainly whether life or death shall come.

–Martin Exeter

It’s been my experience in the recent past of witnessing myself getting involved in the ugliness and hatred that seems to be currently rampant in the world…to the point of creating an imbalance in my physical and emotional well-being.  My reflux and anxiety have climbed to a point that a choice had to be made.

A.  Do I want to continue venting my frustration over the lack of leadership that I sense in the human nature world; do I want to continue to be a part of the insanity and madness that is driving humanity toward the brink of extinction?  Do I truly believe this is my purpose?

B.  Or do I want to be the voice, mind, heart and body of Love in action?  Do I want to fill my being and thus my world with the qualities and characteristics of Life, Love and Truth.  Do I sense that this is truly my sacred livelihood?

I choose Option B — for my physical, mental and emotional well-being and because that really is the truth of who I am.  That is my purpose.  That is my sacred livelihood.  It is what allows me to be in the place of stillness amidst a world in chaos; it is what allows me to be a beacon of light in a world of darkness.

The anger, resentment and immaturity that spits out of the mouths of those who are unconscious of their thoughts, words and action is truly regretable but understandable.  They know not what they do.

The anger, resentment and immaturity that spits out of the mouths of those who are conscious, who are awakened, who know their purpose, is reprehensible.  It goes against everything that is uplifting and joyful, everything that is radiant and made from the fabric of Love, everything that I espouse to be my life’s journey.

So, I can no longer be a willing participant in the divisiveness.  The path this world, this planet is traveling, does so because of humanity’s unwillingness to rise above their self-centered power struggle and state of disillusionment.  No wonder there is so much sickness, illness, disease, war, murder, rape, and abuse in the world.  How could it not be like that?  What is expressed into the world, creates the world.

The only power is in the power of Spirit.  Everything else will crumble and fall.

The ways of the world are not my ways.  And so I dance the dance of life.