Breaking Open

I had an epiphany today…actually just a few seconds ago.  Just when I think I’ve offered someone else a “lesson”, ffffwap!  It’s my lesson to be learned.  My motto recently is “I’m breaking open”.  It’s not violent, it doesn’t hurt (well, I can’t actually say it doesn’t hurt…perhaps not physically speaking anyway), there’s no mess to clean up (yeah, right)…it’s just a breaking open.  It starts with a little crack in the seam of my closely guarded, lightly armored heart.

It is my belief that through teaching and passionately sharing the principles of Nia (you do know what Nia is by now, yes??), by offering and passionately sharing Reiki, by opening myself to the mysteries of Tarot, by answering questions around what’s not working well with regard to my creativity, what are my weaknesses, what are my powers…well, the crack just begins to widen and there the stuff behind those walls is pretty darned scary…stuff I’d forgotten about, stuff that was from another lifetime. And by that I mean BC (before consciousness).

So here I am breaking open, it’s not pretty, but it’s healthy.  It’s not fun, but it’s necessary.  It is in living color and I get to be the creator/inspiration for what comes next.  That’s pretty freaking awesome.  When I stop to think about it, I swoon — I use the word swoon because there is a palpable sensation that emerges with the word “swoon.”  It’s a word that invites anticipation, romance and passion.  It’s so much more colorful than “faint.”  Faint connotates dropping on the floor — unconscious.  Swoon leaves me feeling dazzled, but conscious.

The breaking open is empowering.  It is life-altering.  And it is the best excuse (if one needs an excuse)  to dance through life — not with hobnail boots but barefoot, liberating, twirling, swirling, cascading, reaching, expressing…changing and transforming moment by moment.


The Precious Present


It’s almost Christmas, which beckons the end of another year.  My recollections of Christmas from my childhood are of immense anticipation and excitement, the beautiful Christmas tree lights, the presents huddled under the tree…and wondering how many of them were for me??!!!

These days rather than the expectation of presents, I am dedicated to my actual presence.  What is it that I reflect into the world?  To what and whom am I receptive?

As I sit here at my computer, my beautiful cat Gloria is curled up on my lap (making it quite difficult to use the keyboard I might add).  She was a huge gift from the Universe last Christmas…in fact, tomorrow will be the one year anniversary of Gloria’s presence in our home.  I was finally able to entice her from the deck (where she had willingly remained for two weeks after wandering onto it from who knows where) into our house with the aid of a can of tuna.  She’s been with us ever since and has added a whole new dimension to our household of furry friends.  We have two older cats, Loki (a 16 year old male) and Sophie (a 10 year old psychotic nut) both who have welcomed (maybe too strong of a word) Gloria into the fold.

It has been an interesting year for sure.  It began with “the great purge”.  I won’t go into detail; suffice it to say that lots of not so appealing “stuff” was purged physically, emotionally and mentally.  Spring was awesome on our property, followed by a fabulous summer.  I retook the Nia White Belt Intensive and registered for retaking the Nia Blue Belt Intensive this coming March.  We visited relatives in Kansas City and in  Dallas.  There was a 10-week drought which under normal circumstances might have been tragic (and it was for many), but we found our grape plants producing 300 lbs. of grapes and we are now fermenting 30 gallons of our own wine.  Fall was late in coming and then burst into a kaleidoscope of extraordinary colors, followed by frigid cold weather and now 16″ of snow.  Hello winter!

So, there you have 2012 in a nutshell.  Oh, and the world didn’t end on the Winter Solstice…or maybe it did and a new world has emerged.  I do know that I taught a special Winter Solstice Nia class on Wednesday, Dec. 19th which in my humble opinion was one of the most rich and textured classes I taught all year.  

And I’m happy to report that my 62nd birthday is fast approaching (where did the last 30 years go?).  

Some folks like to remember details about their past.  I prefer the lusciousness of the precious present moment.  I look forward to sharing 2013 with my friends, co-workers, Nia students, and family.  I have been gifted by life with the most wonderful husband, two great jobs (bookkeeper for our business and Nia teacher), gorgeous gardens that we love to share and a spiritual background and education that has been the backbone of my life since 1982 (that would amount to 30 years).

As I tell my Nia students (who are my wonderful, blessed Nia friends), “thankfulness in all things…no picking and choosing…thankfulness in all things”.

Let love radiate and bring it on 2013.